Merry Christmas! Mr. Rutledge and I are incredibly thankful for families that raised us to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas- a debt we owe our parents. Our families both come with some great Christmas traditions, but Mr. Rutledge’s family takes the cake! While I am clearly the more decorated writer in this household, I figured I'd give Mr. Rutledge a chance to explain just what makes his family's Christmas so incredible.
Hello everyone, before I begin I'd like to clear up a few misconceptions that you may have about me from Mrs. Rutledge's blog.
1. I'm actually not a very picky eater. The only things I really detest are pumpkin and sweet potatoes, and let's face it, if you have to throw cinnamon, marshmallows, and brown sugar on something, or hide it in something else, it can't be that good!
2. I don't hate leftovers. I just make exceptionally delicious sandwiches and would much rather eat one of those than something I just had last night!
Also, to sort of set the stage for my explanation of the Hoelscher family Christmas, I feel like there are a few things y'all need to know about my mother's side of the family.
1. My grandparents are German Catholic and live in a small community called Violet down by Corpus Christi. It's a bit cliché to say that if you blink, you'll miss it as you drive down the road, but in this case it's really true. Violet is essentially just a small Catholic Church that serves as the centerpiece for a small farming community.
2. My saintly grandmother raised 10 kids. I did mention that my grandparents were Catholic right? Strict Catholics. Mrs. Rutledge says that we can't have that many children because there is no possible way that we could ever agree on that many names.
3. While not all of the clan lives in the surrounding area, almost everyone makes it a point to make it Grandma's for Christmas. On Christmas Eve there will be anywhere from 30-40 people in my grandmother's house.
4. Hoelschers are LOUD. And fun, and sociable, but mostly just LOUD.
5. I really like lists. (a tidbit from Cami: he likes lists despite rolling his eyes at every single list I've ever made!)
So as I have already mentioned, the Hoelschers celebrate Christmas at Grandma's house on Christmas Eve and begin to arrive as early as 9am. While there is no official deadline, everyone knows that they must be there before Bingo begins around 1. Every year pretty much everyone is in place and ready to go except my Aunt Colleen who always seems to call about 1:30 and ask why we haven't waited on her! My Aunt Sandy (one of the kindest and most enthusiastic souls you'll ever hope to meet) used to be the all time caller, but recently my Uncle Timmy, who is a genius with carpentry, has taken over. The first few games are for small prizes such as gift cards or girly smelling candles. I don't often win at Bingo, but rest assured when I do, the prize up for grabs is a girly smelling candle.
After all the small gifts are gone, we get serious. The last game of the day is always a cash game that requires a complete blackout to win. I did mention that there are 30+ people in my grandmother's house by this point, right? Each person has to pay $2 per card they are playing, so there's usually well over $100 up for grabs. Now I'm not saying this game is rigged or anything, but every year a Ferri or a Soza takes home the grand prize. Don't worry, Mrs. Rutledge and I are confident that we are breaking that streak this year.
One of my family's most unique traditions is that Christmas dinner is always a seafood feast. Each of the daughters and female cousins is in charge of a seafood dish or side of their choosing. There's oysters, and Redfish, and shrimp of all kinds. It's way more exciting and fun than the traditional Christmas ham. Plus with 10+ women all sharing one kitchen, there's bound to be some excitement.
So, after Bingo, preparations for dinner start kicking into gear. While I enjoy cooking, I will say that Christmas Eve at Grandma's house is a great time to be a man. All of the ladies head into the kitchen and begin making their dishes while the guys all find a TV and start watching football (aka: take a nap).
After dinner comes one of my least favorite Hoelscher Christmas traditions: dishes. Now I'm not entirely certain how this tradition started, but someone decided a long time ago that the grandkids were responsible for doing the dishes, and that presents could not be opened until after they were all done. Do you have any idea how long it takes to do the dishes that 30+ create by hand? As a 10 year old who wanted nothing more than to tear into the piles of G.I. Joes I was certain were waiting for me under my Grandmother's massive tree, I can tell you that this part of the evening seemed to take FOR-EV-VER. But what I really can't understand is how I am still stuck doing dishes as a 31 year old man.
Once the final pan is spotless, we all gather in the living room for the next phase of the evening: Christmas Carols. I'm here to tell you that Hoelschers can't carry a tune to save their life, but what we lack in melody, we more than make up for in enthusiasm and exuberance. The songs we sing change from year to year, but we always end with "Silent Night", my grandmother's favorite carol, and my grandfather's favorite song "That's What I Learned in the School". Now I have spent the better part of thirty years trying to figure out just what in the world this song has to do with Christmas and all I can say is this: Everyone's family has their own eccentricities and sometimes its better to just laugh and stumble through a nonsense song about brain busters, sweat boxers, and milk mushers than to ask why.
After the group carols are done, comes every 10 year olds most dreaded moment--the solo. Some cruel individual decided long ago that every child needed to sing a Christmas carol on their own in front of the entire family. As kids we all had our different approaches for dealing with these moments of torment. My cousin Justin decided early on that the safest bet was to belt through a short and beloved tune such as "Jingle Bells" as fast as he could. Other people would join in, and it was short-- its best to minimize the damage he thought. I wasn't quite as practical as a child. I tried every carol known to man including a terrible stretch of two years where I decided that my best bet was to imitate "The Christmas Song" by Alvin and the Chipmunks. As if these moments of utter humiliation weren't bad enough on their own, my Uncle Chris videotaped the performances, I guess so he could sit back and laugh at us throughout the year. Should these tapes ever surface, I promise I will burn them.
Finally, comes the time for presents. The way we have handled this has evolved over the years, but we are in a pretty consistent pattern at the moment. Everyone buys the young children a gift and then the adults each buy a gift for a "White Elephant" style exchange. We all usually have some sort of strategy at the beginning that gets thrown out the window as people decide to attempt to keep my Aunt Colleen, a veritable "White Elephant" mastermind, from getting what she wants. Inevitably, we fail and she triumphs, and then someone steals a gift from Grandma and then the whole thing devolves into a storm of wadded up wrapping paper begin chunked across the room.
The evening ends with Midnight Mass at the local Catholic Church. All that to say, Christmas at the Holeschers is truly my favorite time of the year. As a kid I would wait impatiently for months for Christmas to come so that we could go to Grandma's. The whole day seemed to be this magical moment full of food and family. Though I've grown up, and some of the magic has faded, it has been replaced by a deeper love and admiration for my family. Nothing beats Christmas at Grandma's.
Now back to Mrs. Rutledge... This week, I’m going to share some Christmas favorites for the Trouts and other crowd pleasers! After this week, we are going to take some time away from blogging to celebrate our first anniversary and spend time with our families. Don’t worry, I won’t forget about you (or food!) and I’ll be back to blogging in the New Year!
Christmas Sangria-
My mom and I made this for a Stella and Dot Trunk Show a couple of weeks ago.
It did not disappoint. A part of me wants to start calling it Winter Sangria so
I can drink it till Spring Break ;) When I made this, I used only 2 cinnamon
sticks because that’s what I had on hand. Also, I used a Tempranillo (again- I
had it on hand). I can’t wait to make this for Mr. Rutledge’s mom next week! I
think she will love it.
Ingredients:
2 bottles of Merlot
1 liter ginger ale
1 cup of sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground nutmeg
½ teaspoon ground clove
4 oranges cut in wedges
6 cinnamon sticks (yeah right!)
½ bag fresh cranberries
Directions: Place fruit in the pitcher. Pour sugar over and
muddle some. Then add spices. Next, pour over all liquids. Chill until served.
You’re welcome.
Caldillo – Close
to 20 years ago, my mom started making this for all of us Trouts. No matter how
spread out we are, we all end up with a bowl of this sometime over the holidays. My
mom started the tradition as a Christmas Eve treat. One of my dad’s friends had
taken us flying around Snyder ,
TX
Ingredients:
1 pork chop, cubed
3 pounds of cubed beef
1.5 cups onions, diced
3 cups of tomatoes, diced
1 can of beef stock
1 cup of chicken stock
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon pepper
2 tablespoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons cumin
2 pounds potatoes, cubed
In a large kettle saute pork, beef and onions until meat is
browned and onions are clear. Add the rest of the ingredients. Add water until
the mixture is soupy. Cook on medium heat for 3 hours.
Brownie Trifle –
When I was living in Tampa
Ingredients:
1 (19.8 ounce) Fudge brownie mix + needed ingredients to
prepare
½ cup Kahlua or other coffee-flavored liqueur (optional)
3 (3.9 ounce) packages of chocolate instant pudding mix =
4 cups milk
1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
6 (1.4 ounce) English toffee-flavored candy bars, crushed
Prepare and bake brownie mix according to package directions
in a 13x9 inch pan. Prick top of warm brownies at 1-inch intervals with a wooden
pick and brush with Kahlua. Cool brownies then crumble into small pieces.
Prepare 3 packages of pudding mix according to package, but use 4 cups instead
of 6 and omit chilling. Place one-third of crumbled brownies in a 3-quart
trifle bowl, top with one-third each of pudding, whipped topping and crushed
candy bars. Repeat layers twice using remaining ingredients (ending with
crushed candy bars). Cover and chill trifle for at least 8 hours. Share with
Cami.
Breakfast Pizza –
I like the kind of breakfasts you can make before everyone goes to bed. I
imagine pulling it out of the fridge and throwing in the oven while everyone
starts to open presents. Then, breakfast is ready! I think this recipe would hold up just fine in the fridge. You can also add any extra veggies you have around (peppers, onions, mushrooms). What could be better?
Serving it with orange juilius!
Orange Julius –
My friend Miss Mary used to make this any time the Trout kids were with her
family for breakfast. Mary is one of those people God just keeps weaving through
my life. I have spent over half my life within 50 miles of her, but I haven’t
lived in the same town in over 20 years. She remains the kindest, most
Christ-like person I’ve ever had the joy of knowing.
Ingredients:
6 ounce frozen orange juice concentrate
1 cup milk
½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
8-10 ice cubes
Directions: In a blender, combine everything but the ice
cubes and blend 1-2 minutes. Then, begin adding ice cubes a few at a time until
you reach desired consistency.
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